How To Set Goals

I just wanted to say how much I love Autumn.   Aside from the fact it’s my birthday time, I enjoy that special feeling in the air.  I think it’s the only season that has a ‘feel’ to it. I love the bright-coloured orange, red and yellow leaves on the trees, and I enjoy the sound of the crunching under my feet, even more! I don’t know what it is, but it makes me feel like a child again.

I love it when the nights start drawing in and I can snuggle up by the fire or take a warm, candle-lit bath. Halloween and Bonfire night are Autumn festivals that bring people outdoors and brighten up the dark nights.  I enjoy going to my local fireworks display every year and eating toffee apples.

These are just some of the reasons why I love Autumn, but love it or not, you can’t argue that there’s something about this time of year that makes you think about starting over. I don’t know whether it’s because the new school term starts, after the long Summer break, or if it’s to do with the crispness in the air, but I often use this time of year to take stock of my life and make plans for the year ahead.

How to set goals

If you want to set yourself some goals, now is a great time. If you wait until the New year, you have more chance of failing (according to research) so why not give it a go in Autumn?

Choose one major goal that will change your life for the better. Write it down. Set a timescale for achievement. Be realistic – if you want to lose five stone before Christmas, there is a chance that you may not be able to do this safely. Why not adjust your goal, so that it is more achievable within the timescale you’ve allocated.

Your goal should also be measurable. You should know when you’ve achieved it. If your goal is to lose weight, then you can measure this by using weighing scales. You will know you’ve achieved it when you are lighter on the scales. Some goals are less straightforward, though. I will be writing more about these types of goals in my new book and coaching course.

Break down larger goals into smaller steps and make sure you do something every day to bring you closer to achieving your goal.

Good Luck,

Mochira x

What Is Graphology?

I wanted to discuss Graphology, today. It’s been around for some years now and is a useful tool for understanding what makes people tick.  It is the study of handwriting. Researchers have looked at several different types of handwriting and managed to link these differences to certain personality traits. Graphologists can tell whether someone is introverted or extraverted; calm or anxious and even whether they have psychotic tendencies. The police have used graphologists to help them solve crime, so it is taken seriously by many people.

I find the subject fascinating. I often change my handwriting style, depending on what mood I’m in and therefore I feel there is definitely something in this. If I’m feeling a little bit run down and need time to myself, for instance, I prefer to write with a slight leftwards slant to my letters (which means the person is introverted and likes to be alone); however, my usual writing style has a slight slant to the right, which means the opposite.

I will be giving you some more lessons on graphology, over the course of this blog, and I hope you find it as intriguing as I do. You will be shocked at how accurate it is.

If you’re sceptical, think about this – how many of you can understand your doctor’s handwriting? Doctors tend to have more important things on their mind than neat handwriting and their high intelligence level can lead to a certain type of handwriting. I have noticed that individual GPs in my local doctor’s surgery all tend to have a similar style of writing, which shows they are similar people.

As with anything, though, there are exceptions to the rule; however, graphology deals with general meanings for certain handwriting traits and it is the combination of all of these that create the differences between individuals with similar handwriting.

NLP - The Eyes Have It!

I have already told you how listening to the words people say can help you build rapport with them, but there is a lot more to NLP than this.  NLP is a great tool for salespeople – I know; I’ve been there. It worked for me and it can work for you, too. You don’t even have to be in sales to benefit from using NLP. It can improve your communication skills and the way you relate to others, which can lead to all sorts of opportunities opening up for you.

I am going to show you an NLP trick, which is great for public speakers, as you can get an idea of what people are thinking, just by looking at their eyes. This isn’t always a hundred per cent accurate, though, as the results are reversed if a person is left-handed and, if you are stood in front of a room full of strangers, you won’t know which of them are left-handed.

Anyway, here it is…

What the position of someone’s eyes means

 

Eyes looking up and to their left – they are remembering a picture or playing a scene in their head.

Eyes looking up and to their right – they are creating a picture in their head - imagining how something might look.

Eyes looking horizontally to their left—they are remembering a sound/conversation

Eyes looking horizontally to their right – they are imagining a sound in their head.

Eyes looking down and to their right—they are accessing their emotions

Eyes looking down and to their left --- they are indulging in self-talk

 

Now that you know what these mean, you can change your tactics if you are involved in a sales meeting or presentation. If you see everyone’s eyes moving up and to their right (your left) then this could be a sign that your sales pitch is working as the person is most likely picturing the product and how they can use it. If you see then looking up and to their left (your right) then they may be daydreaming and you may consider using another strategy.

I hope this has helped. NLP is a great toolkit for understanding people and improving your communication skills and I would recommend you look into the subject further, if you feel it will benefit you, too. I will be updating this blog with useful posts on NLP, so keep reading!

Love,

Mochira x

How to improve Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is one of the most valuable qualities a person can have. If you believe in your skills and abilities then you are more likely to achieve goals you set for yourself, which leads to greater rewards. The lack of self-esteem, or self-belief, can cause many problems in your life.

Why do I have low self-esteem?

Most people have low self-esteem because of their early childhood experiences. If parents, or teachers, were constantly putting you down, or telling you that you won’t amount to anything, then it’s hardly surprising that you will feel worthless now that you are an adult. These experiences will be stored as limiting beliefs in your subconscious mind and, even if you don’t think about your childhood, they will still be affecting all aspects of your life now that you are an adult. It is hard to remove limiting beliefs, once they have fixed themselves inside the part of your mind that governs your thoughts, feelings and life in general.

How can I improve my self-esteem?

You can start to improve your self-esteem by stopping and thinking when you catch yourself using hurtful words towards yourself. If you find yourself thinking how fat and ugly you are, for example, change these words to something more comforting, such as 'I am slim and beautiful'. This is the first step. The next step is to write down some positive affirmations. They are always written in the present tense and contain positive words that describe how you'd like to be. If you lack confidence, you can say, 'I am a confident, successful woman', for example. Keep saying your affirmations to yourself at least ten times per day. You can say it quietly, inside your head or you can say it out loud. You can even record them and play them on your mp3 player as you go about your daily activities, or just before you go to sleep. Once you have done this for a while, you should be feeling better; however, the conscious mind will know that you are telling little white lies, and you'll need to do even more...

Next steps to improving self-esteem...

If you aren't sure what I'm talking about here, you can read my other posts about your mind and how it works, to give you a more detailed explanation. In order to improve your self-esteem on a more permanent basis, you will need to let your subconscious mind know that you have changed the way you see yourself. The best way to do this is through self-hypnosis or subliminal meditation.

What is subliminal meditation?

Subliminal meditation is when affirmations are sent directly to your subconscious mind without the conscious mind knowing you aren't telling the truth. Let me explain...if you are overweight and you've been repeating the affirmation, 'I am slimmer than I've ever been', then your logical, conscious mind will know this isn't true...But, if you send this affirmation to your subconscious mind without your conscious mind knowing, then you will start to change your body image, first mentally and emotionally and then it will manifest in reality. There are many subliminal meditations you can watch for free on Youtube. The best ones use binaural beats to put your mind into a meditative state so that the subliminal affirmations can go directly to the subconscious, where they're needed.

You can get subliminal meditation videos and mp3s for all aspects of self-development from increasing confidence to earning more money. Why not visit Youtube and take a look. I like the igodmind channel. I often use some of these videos when I work on my own self-development and I have noticed significant improvements after watching them.

Love,

Mochira X

NLP Speak

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic-Programming. Neuro means the nervous system. linguistic refers to speech and programming refers to changing patterns of thinking.

As an NLP Practitioner, I often help clients change the way they think about things, using NLP techniques. Sometimes it isn't the situation we find ourselves in that is unbearable, it is the way we view the situation. For example, if we are out having a lovely picnic and it pours down with rain, we will start thinking negatively. We will hate the fact that it's decided to rain and ruin our nice day out. We will most likely curse the British weather (if you live in the UK, you will know what I mean!) and moan for the rest of the journey home. If you are a farmer, who has been worrying about his crops for two weeks, you may be dancing for joy!

The above example illustrates how the same event can cause two different reactions depending on how the person sees the situation. NLP can help those of us who struggle to see the positive side of situations.

As well as this, NLP is a useful tool when you want to communicate effectively with someone. It is particularly beneficial for sales people and those who want to build up a rapport with another person. Before I became aware of NLP, my employer sent me on a top sales course. It was very expensive and thought to be the one of the best sales courses in the UK. I learnt a lot on the course and it was only recently, when I qualified as an NLP Practitioner, that I realised most of the units on the course were based on NLP.

Listen carefully...

I am going to let you in on a little secret, used by those who know about NLP. You can build up a rapport with someone and get them on your side, just by listening to the words they use. Then you can match your words to theirs and you'll have more chance of closing a sale.

Visual - if the person says things like ' I see what you mean' or 'Iet's all take a look' or 'my view is'. Each of these phrases shows that the person is a visual person as they use words such as look, view and see.

Auditory - if the person says things like 'I hear what you're saying' or 'keep the noise down!' you will know they are an auditory person and you will work well with this person if you can match the tone, pace and loudness of your voice, to match theirs.

Kinaesthetic - if the person says 'I feel weird about this' or 'let's throw some ideas around' you will do best with this person if you use a lot of actions, gestures and use similar words.

It can be difficult, at first, to match the words of the other person without it looking obvious or contrived; however, with practice it will start to come naturally to you. I got more sales using these techniques than I ever did before, but it isn't just sales that can benefit from these techniques. If you've not been getting on with somebody, it may be because you are a visual person and they are an auditory person, for example. If you can start to match words to build a rapport with them, you may find your communication with this person improves dramatically.

Have fun with it.

 

Love,

Mochira X

 

 

Understanding self-development

Self-development or self-improvement has become very popular, lately. There are countless self-help books available and many internet gurus are emerging that aim to help people totally change their lives.

All of these things are great, but maybe you feel overwhelmed by the amount of resources available to you and you don't know where to start.

If you want to start improving yourself, then I suggest you firstly think about what aspect of yourself you'd like to change.  I believe that everybody is capable of achieving whatever it is they want to achieve. Anything is possible, if you believe it.

If you have read a lot of my previous work, you will know that I am passionate about the power of belief. Your beliefs are so important. If you believe something will happen, then it most likely will. Research has shown that patients who were given placebos instead of real medicine, made the same, or greater, improvements in their health than those patients who were given real medication. Doctors state that this was because those patients believe they were getting real medication. They expected to be cured and they were.

If you want to improve any aspect of yourself or your life, then it all starts with believing you can change and improve. There are many ways you can work on your self-development, from reading books to attending courses. You could work alongside a life coach, who will motivate you to make positive changes in your life, or you could watch self-development videos or listen to mp3s that aim to work on your subconscious mind, so improvements are made to your thoughts and belief system.

There is always something we can do to develop ourselves, whether it's learning a new language or attending assertiveness classes. Find out what it is that's holding you back and see if there is a book, course or other resource that will help you to do this. We should never stop learning - it keeps our brains active and gives us something to work for. We should all have goals that we're working towards as it gives us the motivation to get up in the morning.

Research has shown that people who retire often end up depressed or they experience a rapid decline in health. I think this is because they don't have any reason to get out of bed. Their job gave them something to do and, unless they replace this with something else, it is easy to get into a state of inertia.

Try not to do too much at once, find the most crucial area you feel needs developing or improving and work on that first. You will then have the confidence to move onto any other areas that you feel may be holding you back from achieving the life of your dreams.

 

Removing Limiting Beliefs to improve your life.

When I talked about the power of thought, in a previous post, I mentioned that it was a long, complicated topic, which needed a lot more than just one post.

I am going to be talking to you, today, about limiting beliefs. You may not be aware of it, but there are negative beliefs stored in your subconscious mind.

These negative beliefs can undermine anything you try to do, without you even knowing. Negative beliefs are also known as limiting beliefs, because they limit your opportunities.

How are limiting beliefs formed?

When you are younger, you are inexperienced and rely on those in authority to teach you what's right and wrong. Unfortunately, your young mind is like a sponge; it soaks up everything it can - this includes negative words and situations.

I will give you an example, to explain this further. Perhaps, when you were at school, a teacher told you that 'you're such a stupid child!'. Although this doesn't happen today, it did happen in the 70s and 80s. Hearing that would have made you feel bad. If you had then gone home and your parents said something similar, you would then start to think you were stupid. Even though you are now an adult and don't remember this part of your life, as much, this limiting belief will have been stored in your subconscious and it will be continuing to have a negative effect on your life. Perhaps you don't apply for jobs that you would be perfect for, because deep down inside, you still feel stupid. Maybe you have issues with authority and prefer to work for yourself. These are just some of the ways that something that happened as a child can affect your life today.

Limiting beliefs can also be formed when you soak up impressions from your surroundings. Perhaps, as a child, you saw your parents constantly argueing, and although you weren't entirely sure what they were argueing about, you often heard the word 'money' mentioned. This may have caused you to have negative beliefs about money. Now you're an adult, you may have a limiting belief that money is bad or that you can't have a good relationship unless you have a lot of money. It is strange how the mind can work.

How can I get rid of my limiting beliefs?

If you think that there are limiting beliefs affecting your life, today, then there are ways you can try to get rid of them. We are all human and therefore, it is likely that most of you reading this do have some underlying issue that can be resolved.

One of the first things to do is to look at your current life situation. Is there anything you're not happy with? Do you keep repeating the same patterns over and over? Do you keep telling yourself you're not good enough or do you find yourself thinking other negative thoughts throughout your day?

Get a piece of paper and write down everything you're not happy with and any repeating patterns in your life, including negative thoughts that you have about yourself or situations. For example, if you keep telling yourself that 'people can't be trusted' it is likely that you find yourself meeting people who aren't trustworthy. You need to break this pattern and change this belief.

To do this, you will need to change the negative belief into a positive affirmation. So, instead of thinking  'people can't be trusted' change this to 'People can be trusted'. Say this to yourself several times a day, or write it down somewhere prominent and look at it as often as you can.

You can also try meditation. I will be talking about this more in future posts but, clearing your mind for even a few minutes a day, can help to clear a lot of worries and negative thoughts out of your mind.

I like to use subliminal videos to clear my blockages. This is because, the best way to change your underlying beliefs, is to try to get positive affirmations into your subconscious without the conscious interfering. If you keep telling yourself that 'I am rich', your conscious mind will know that it isn't true, if you aren't rich, and will attempt to block your attempts at changing your thought patterns. Using subliminal videos can help counteract this.

I am embedding a video that I use regularly. Give it a go. It is essential that you use headphones for this as it uses binaural beats, which help you get into a meditative state, which is the best state to be in when trying to work with the subsconscious.

I hope this help and l look forward to hearing from you if you have any positive changes in your life, after doing these exercises.

Click on this link to access your free subliminal video

Free Subliminal Training Video

Love,

 

Mochira X